Id: The id "knows no judgements of value: no good and evil, no morality.... Instinctual cathexes seeking discharge — that, in our view, is all there is in the id. - Freud
Please read in a snarky, sarcastic voice in your head, unless otherwise specified.
But, because he's also moderately to severely Autistic and doesn't like to talk to other people, that probably won't work. Excuse me while I go look for his dumb, stupidface game!!!!
BRB.
Oh wow. Imagine that. It was under the corner of a smelly teenage boy comforter,not two feet away. Really, in plain sight. But of course, Lover Boy was too busy playing with magnets to look for it himself and yelled at me that it was my job when I told him to help. After I found it and told him to "say you're sorry"! He said "You're sorry!"
I don't know how I walked out of the room without stomping on his foot.
He's not developmentally disabled by the way, just severely delayed because of his speech and communication skills. He scores exemplary in all categories for school. He has a great grasp of pronouns only when it suits him!
NS: (Not snarky)
Parents of children with developmental issues feel an enormous pressure to say and behave as though our"special children" are a gift from G-d. Yeah? So what? So are all of them, right? But parents with 'normal' kids get to bitch about theirs and the stupid, mean, underhanded and downright evil things they do. If we say things like that though, it's worse. Cause they obviously don't know any better. They're pure. They're innocent. They are a gift.
What is that gift, exactly? 'The opportunity to learn and grow as humans and families' is the answer inferred most often by fluffy news programs and magazine articles and fund raisers. My husband has even naively said he imagined a conversation with G-d about Lover Boy before he was born, with G-d securing my Husband's assistance with this 'special' baby. Buuuuuulllllshiiiiiit
"They're such a blessing"
"We don't teach them, they teach us"
"I feel like a better person for having the opportunity to watch them grow"
Buuuuuuullshiiiiiiiiit.....
What am I learning?
How not to strangle a kid who is running in tight concentric circles for an hour and screaming because Grammy is not in the right place at the right time? You cannot explain it to him, the people around you or yourself. And what's worse is, he would not be able to explain it either, even if he did speak normally.
How to explain to the lady at the bouncy house place that, yes, we did in fact read the rules, but Lover Boy hates pants more than you love not having to crawl inside and wipe everything down with disinfectant? At least my five year old is not maliciously taunting you about your minimum wage job, like the other naked five year olds are.(Sorry to the Bouncy Structure Industry, but you basically run a business where children play bouncy doctor before someone rushes them to the real doctor for their bright pink or black cast)
How to reassure the manager at the grocery store that just because my son only knows one sentence: 'Help me', that does not mean that I am kidnapping him, I just won't let him eat the three lb bag of Starburst.
How to educate police and fire departments in small towns that autistic kids just like to run off. We are not bad parents. We have to shower/sleep/pee sometime! (Actually, I think I figured that one out. Lover Boy was talking some by the time he was about eight and the last time we had to run out of the house looking for him. When I found him, he yelled "I found you!" Now, it could had been that tricky pronoun thing, but it makes sense,because he never left the house while we were in the room or he could see us.)
But wether or not the little 'angel' was just looking for his Mommy or not,and no matter how sweet or touching you think that is, or I thought it was, it doesn't change the fact that all of these are about as useful as scuba diving lessons in The Sahara.
I love my son. And my daughter. And I have learned a lot as a parent. And I'm not trying to say that he is harder to raise than my neuro-typical child, but damn, I just want the same opportunity to say, geeez, if I thought I could get away with killing that little shit right now.....
